Friday, May 8, 2009


Weak inside
You scream for love
Yet all you get are screams,
Internal and eternal

You feel the pain
You feel the morose
But you feel you won’t yet give up
Not yet, at least.

Stare at the sky for some inspiration
A blank stare into a vast ocean
You want to swim
And now you want to fly

Oh but darling
Because your feet are curled
Doesn’t necessarily mean
You might touch the sky

It is best to not let hopes soar
To a height hitherto unknown of!
For its ok to be weak
But always
Always, be sure.


Okay. Expect me to have no expectations.

That solves the entire problem.

For afterall where would we be

If we wouldn’t contradict

Who we are and who we want to be?

When u are told to have no thoughts

U think “no thoughts”

And that revolves round and then up

And ultimately brings u down


And u think.

Stark clear; that is life

We complicate

And we twist and turn

Confiscating ourselves

To us, to them, to him, to her, to some higher form

To someone.


Limitless; that is our reach

Boundless; that is us

Yet we all depend on being heard

For after all

Hopeless perverted-ness is our forte!

A Consortium of Loose Thoughts

It’s a nice wind. It’s been days, maybe weeks since there was such a nice breeze around. Man, wasn’t that a clich├ęd thought process. Anyway, maybe I should hit the lake. That place always brings out the “serene” me. Plus they are cute guys around. But there weren’t any the last 2 times, missy. Anyway maybe one doesn’t need lakes and stuff. Its just plain speculation of and about life after all. But that place it makes u want to be calm. Oh but wait, nothing makes u want to do things; u make yourself do things. Shit. I should stop watching that freaking Aastha channel. It is making me sound so 30ish. Just like I am about to attain sainthood. And that’s what 20 years before menopause. Okay. Bad line of thought. And as someone might put it a perverted line of thought. That’s the problem u know, from one thread like thought to another. And Potter actually made it look like thread. Blue shiny silvery thoughts at that. Eeks. Plus Potter’s 6th movie out on 16th July. So Potter is back in town B-). Man. I had to talk to dad about the payment thingy. But then I’ll get some pathetic lectures about guys or maybe even about colleges. But then u gotta do what u gotta do.

*Phone break*

Phew! That went well. No lecture. He thinks I am so for Symbiosis. Well obviously I am. I have got my reasons. But then what exactly? Would I still go there if I get through Stephen’s or Xaviers’s? Will I will I? Mom. She might help. But she is really pissed off now-a-days. Screw offices. I guess I’ll ask her. But then it will be my choice in the end. Which brings forth the initial problem. English hons or mass comm? What? How? Why? Someone answer me damn it! Pros and cons. Pros: I get to be in Pune. I’d like that. All the CCDs (*Drools*). Anyway. Anyway, back to the point. So, pune. Then a good reputed college. Plus a supposed all accepting atmosphere. Nice place. The end. Okay just a nice place? That’s good enough? For three years? Ok. The cons list already began. So. Ah! I get to meet Wasim if I go to Pune. Ha. That was like the number one reason (Yes readers it was :P ) . Anyway, cons. 1 year old program. Very far from home (Pro? ). And I’ll have to do a paper on photography. Well it could be interesting but of course I’ll wreck havoc. That too my own kind. Ha again. Plus English Hons is like English and only English. But I’d like that. Infact, I’d love it. But as mom happily pointed out, I loved PCM before 11th and 12th. Sarcasm Mom Two similar words for me. Homonyms? Yeah. And I cracked SET. Or so I think. Again. Symbiosis. What will I do? I guess Mom is the word again. So? F.R.E.I.N.D.S. And Nirvana should have called by now. I swear. “Exam at 9 not at 3. I m scrood.” U can bet your your foot-n-a-half u r(Nice phrase that btw :D ). And then his exam was good. Specimen. The g**d (It’s a nice word people. Not the hindi “bad” word. Synonym for nice in a way.) guy specimen. Malvika. Another specimen. The lost specimen. Call, cant even call me once. Call. Nirvana – call. The brilliant silent mode.

*Phone break*

Okay. Now I want to talk to people. Who? Wasim? Nah. The “so-so”s took place in the afternoon. That too for an hour. Surprisingly. Nice. Monosyllabic forever. Ok so Maith? That’d be girly. Okay. Bhai? Nah. The night. Coffee Shake!!!

*Coffee Break*

Ice. In the bleeding mixie is better. Anyway, ice cream helps. A lot. Whatever. Music. Music is what is missing. And I need new songs. My own song collection. My own freakin’ lappy. I deserve it. I cracked the boards. “ Yeah harp on about how u cracked em; all ur life.” – Mom’s can be so rude (N this one can be really sarcastic). Whatever whatever whatever. It is best to sit outside. Smell the air. Breathe it. Taste it. And maybe I should stop talking like I m gay.

Foot note: What are the cute names for guys? :O

Someone tell me.