Sunday, April 26, 2009

Life's a Carnival at Best

Stare at the sea
See the emptiness
That stems out of every single drop
It is way deeper than u can imagine.
And it is way under out horizon.

Notice the sun setting
See the rays retreating
See the birds twitter about
Watch them
As they fly away
As far as possible.
Just far away.

Watch.
Watch as we are left to ourselves.
To feed on each other's happiness
And to lead a carnival
A carnival of life.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Thoughts

Is a funny feeling, or so they say. In reality it is a daze. Everything is. Can’t get around to do that thing you should be doing? Blame it on him. Can’t get that girly song out of your head? Of course, it is his fault. Its his mistake all the way and al the time. Period. But this is not about what u are thinking. No, no, no. Nah, it is not great. Fantabulous, u say? Yeah, right. No. Seriously. You are right. Okay. Wrong. Btu it is great. But then how long will the [Air quotes] “greatness” [/Air quotes] last? As long as u want it to. That is the correct answer. Ain’t it? Come on say it now! Anyway, I learnt this thing recently. Want to know (Yes, yes thank u, u human who caries Kurt Cobain’s legacy forward)? The thing is, “anyways” is not a word (even though it does not give an error in MS word) And to think I used to use it use it in every piece of whatever-it-is-I-wrote. Well is it really a common mistake. Chiming ‘Who cares, anyways?’ are u? Join the club then! By the way if somehow u are reading this I’d advise u to read it fast; because then u get this grin on your face and u think u can actually relate to this load of random sentences; which u might on second thoughts. Yeah, so want to know what else I found out? I found out that my English is not even next to the “exemplary” (air quote ‘em again if u please and yes I used spell check to get the right spelling *Nods in shameful disgust*) thing it should have been. Uh, actually was made out to be. Thanks to me friends i.e. Anyway that’s not the point. The point is that I have to get into a college A worthwhile college. First it was was about getting some marks. Now it is PIs and GDs. I need a break and I need knowledge. Then the “insecurity” (air quotes, air quotes) hits me, whatif it is not media? If I am not into this whole thing now, how will I ever be? Maybe it is just English for me. Or maybe its just a hobby. But I like this hobby. A lot. It is what I am best at. I can’t and I won’t back out. It’s the only thing I remotely get. Or so I d like to believe ( ;) ). But politics? That is not what I bargained for. But then u gotta do what u gotta do. And then I NEED to get out> For various reasons of course; inclusive of independence, “exposure” (Yes, yes air quotes), a life and fun of course. Uh, there’s also the fact that I want to meet a few guys. Literally. Yes, yes that was a second thought only! I swear that was the chronological order. Pinky swear. So, scratch my surface. There’s a lot. Yeah, I don’t know half the stuff or lets make that 3/4th. But I’ll get to it. Eventually. I cracked the boards didn’t I? And c’mon no one expected me to. I was skeptical enough myself. But I did do it in the end. Self confidence or over confidence. Take your pick. I’ll work it out. I swear. I promise. And here I am promising stuff to myself. Speaks volumes. Can’t let anyone down. And can’t let me down. Won’t

Tick Tock

Not a sound

But the sound of the clock

It says three

But there’s no sleep

Not anywhere around me

Thoughts, if that is what they are called

They engulf me like a snowstorm

And then they bid adieu

Leaving the mind

As blank as a whipped blackboard

A tear might have dropped

But the cold freezes it in the eye

And then there is cackling laughter

For after all it is a day so bright

Well at least on the outside.

Pretence

Staring at the wall

A thought passes by

I wonder if it is that easy

Is it that easy to say goodbye?

There is a tear

There is pain

But that is soon laid to rest

With all the memories she did possess

Won’t you say something

Just to make her see

If she remembers

What it feels like to speak?

Drowning in the sorrow of what could be

She doesn’t see the table laid out for tea

Is this how easy it is?

A fake smile and a laugh to defy the odds

While inside she’s all but made of glass

No, she’s not breaking

Not yet. Or she says.

But looking in her eyes

U see she’s not there

No, she’s just

She is just alone

Alone in a room of friends

And all she is doing is

Staring at the wall

But then, she can pretend.