Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy Bday Bhai! >:D<

>:D< (N i begins with a hug :P )
The gangsta who is a happy soul For whom "natunki"ness forms the very bone The "chupp beyy"s and the ">:D<"
While he acts like a complete Malyali stud (not the dict meaning :-s)
Meeting this bhai; even though virtually
Has been a bane of a boon
Btw did u get that u goon?
U can call him the stress buster
But for me he's the one who makes me muster
If not courage then all the things
That could do with or without a duster :O

U have been the strength in times of "pain"
And your jovial ways just wouldn't let me
Feel the hits of even a cane (not literally of course :O )
Nah I can't express it in words
But then u know what the feelings of your "sista" are
U are the bestest bhai anone could hope for
And the hopes extend to a never ending relation of chaotic wars :D
U have seen the many moods
And u have survived 'em too
For that I can't applause (actually won't :P )
Because what I would clap me hands for together for
Would be the fact that u made it possible for me
To survive 'em too!

Your words they aren't just words
For they are souls of another world
These souls, help many take flight
Be it Ruchu, Nital or anyone else in near sight!
Your advices they are also words
So don't expect another para on how much they are worth! :P
There have been times I had wished I could bug u with a call
But then I remembered u'll always be around in some Great Hall!
U've brought me back on track
Whenever (if at all) I did stray
And to say; u weren't involved in making me feel good
Would be lying; well in a way! :D

This thing could possibly extend to another 5-6 pages
But I'm guessing its not all that entertaining
So I'll end in another page (just wait :D)
While I let u know how much I really care!
So bhai, it's your obvious presence I have always cherished
And believe it or not, I have never been so happily nourished ( :O by bhais :O )
For in yahoo, orkut and my life, u shall forever remain the bestest bhai
Your over the top lame jokes
Have made me actually lol
More than u could possibly account them for :P

If I could hug u, I would
If I could kick u, I (definitely) would :D
But if I had the option to leave u
U better know I never would
I know it might sound vague
But I do have one complain
Try to speak your problems too
Even if its just another kiddo facing u
For no other kiddo could care for u
As much as I do
I guess u are already smiling
And I won't ever want that smile to slip away
So keep that smile and that grin (of course)
And go on act like the Malyali stud (**ahem ahem**)
That only u can!
Oh and btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY dearest Bhai!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Feels Like...

Feeligs overwhelming
Apparently unending
Caught in a whirl of emotions
Its hard to fathom the situation
Not because its messy
But for the simple fact
That I'm under that adult age of eighteen

To preach and to express
Thats all that I can do
How far would I go; who knows?
And how far have I tread; I really don't know

To be the one you'd like to be
its not easy as it seemingly can be
To live with the hope of the future
Is to live on a sea of steady water

Its hard to question
And even harder to let it go unanswered
But to question it would be to question yourself
And to question it would just be a slap in the face!

Saturday, November 22, 2008


You ain't understood
By the hoards that surround you
No one complains in person
While words flow out like sermons
They don't tell you whats wrong
For after all
A deep sense of understanding is expected from us all
While living for yourself might not be out
But to thrive off each other is what one devours
A deep sense of regret sometimes engulfs one
Only to be lost somewhere in the distant sun
Get rid of these feelings screams the soul
While you are foul-mouthing your own
Senselessness seemingly overpowers
All the senses and even the heart!
And while you await the return of your mind
Your words might have hurt someone in near sight
Talking it out, thats never been an idea
For acceptance of "it is it" is the general criteria

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


A toothy grin that shines as bright as the distant moon
And a smile so wide, its hardly ever out of tune
While the tongue dashes out
Out on a single syllabal
And you are left gazing at
You are left gazing at your friend who is acting like a laughing buffoon
You think of the road you've traveled so far
And how its been pretty different from those fazed wars
Yes there have been the downs
But who can possibly miss the merry go rounds?
The mood swings are never unaccounted for
While the seasons of life blossom with you, right where you are!
That pink top so hated
And those cozy blue jeans, so very faded
A ring in your middle finger
And you show it off as a peace's harbinger
The music that is to be
And the moments where one sings; Let it Be
Fear of the dark and of Voldemort
And the underlying support for all the spoil sports
A veteran in some field or another
Where coolness doesn't really matter
Songs form days which form the nights
And singing them like hooligans seems our right!
The night outs at a friend's place
Acting like wackos in every possible way
Looming thoughts these are
Ones which made me cry
But these tears are of happiness
And there is that sigh!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


A dream so big it was to hold on
A life so small it was easy to let go
A feelimg so funny it didn't make you laugh no more
A smile so white it didn'y dazzle the pearls pearls
A world so cocooned that it didn't matter anymore

I lived a life, a life that wore on
Never did i know it wasn't meant to be this easily forgone
Its easy to sit and say words that preach
But to follow them has somehow always been out of my reach
Learning the pace of human thoughts
I lived my life, struggling to say
Things as they should have been ought

For i dreamt of a dream too big to hold on to
And a life so small that it was easy to let go
With a feeling so funny I couldn't laugh at it no more
And a smile so smoky it couldn't even be called pearly anymore
I lived my life and I lived it in a cocoon.

I Cried

A single hello that made me go bust
That cold smile that slowly turned me to rust
It always had been about the trust
But never was there a glint of a must.

I cried when you blamed it on me
I cried when you said just let it be
I cried when I knew it was my fault
I cried when it was all buried in a halt.

That shoulder to cry on is gone
That lap of craziness all forlorn
A word that cost me a soul
If not mine then of the one.

Yes I cried when you tried to shake it away
I cried when you made it clear that you don't care
And I cried at the indication of an end
Of a friendship that I thought would last until it did end.

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Lecture

“….understood….huum??,….” N so droned on our very enthusiastic sir to a not so very enthusiastic class…with half the people looking at their watches….while the other half just whiling away time …thinking what they will do when the next lecture creeps up…how in the world will they stand up to another hour of being if not the butt then certainly the “grunter” of all jokes… and then out of no where the teacher in the most weary voice asks the class to shut the hell up n just for once in their life try n understand his darn subject in the politest manner possible … Having seen the brilliant response that the class musters in response to his healthy yet a cent percent waste of his valuable lecture time the teacher decides letting them have their own way is the best possible way in the entire universe…n thus goes back to teaching…n so do the students… back to their main task….just like a coma patient would after receiving a minor shock treatment after lying in coma for 6 months!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008


A call in the middle of the night
A catcher of a falling knight
Someone who'd hold their own
But still always be there on the phone

Caring as they'd only know
Lucid in every single throw
Same on this front and that
Never stabbing you in the back

Explains life when depressed
Says the truth when needed
Who'd call you for help, if breathing
The one who understands teh sudden fits of laughter
And is always up for all the dozes of chatter

Standing aside if thats what is needed
Saying not a single word if so heeded

A trust so connected
It would never go undetected
A smile so stunning
That it would keep you grinning

In all the sadness and all the fun
Under that red shining sun
Where the sky touches the horizon
A human of such warranted depth is the wanted one!

The Tuition Class

Wondering whether any other of the 70 plus students cramped in this 5 x 5 sq. metre classroom were feeling, if not more then equally dizzy, Akanksha decided, it was high time someone did something, and she went ahead and took the initiative.Then and there she dropped; following the path of a trajectory; her pen's cap.Disappointed that she couldn't start a cap falling revolution she for the better part of her class decided to concentrate; if not on the subject tenderly termed as physics then on how well versed was she in cursing what could certainly have been called a great teacher with an aging hairline. The class did end even though the sleepiness current induced wheezingly well through most didn't.

And then there he was again; asking a doubt. "Man this guy doesn't sleep or what?" asked Gurbani. And pat came the automated reply, "Dejected souls hardly rest in peace.", and pat came the offended staring, bewildered yet ready to slap glance and pat Akanksha, the higly skilled loud and extremely sarcastic orator, was left in a whirlwind of emotions, primarily comprising of a grin.

Then their eyes met. One with a lopsided grin, the other with a feeling of an untentative , involuntary action which could have been appropriately termed as kicking. Having exchanged such pleasantries it was time that these lasses head out through the door. But not like the other wild homo-sapiens, who acted as if they were the drivers of the hit and run case that just happened to take place in front of the police's eyes.No , they were certainly more dignified than that, they'd just rush out as if its the emergency exit needed to escape the fire.

The Freefall

"Like the moon, the sun and all things that hang in the sky , life sometimes looks as clustered yet as solitary as these heavenly things.", such thoughts dragged on in the mind of Angie. Living alone and that too in the city of blinding lights i.e. Delhi such thoughts often trespass a college student's mind.

A freefall. That's one of the simplest things to understand, in Physics, in what could easily be considered as one of the biggest fattest books (which of course is the stuff nightmares are made up of, for school and college going students at least). But it isn't the best concept to consider if you are sitting on the terrace, that too right on the edge of a 15 storey building. And that thought of course did pass through Angelina's mind. Sidelining the thought if only for the moment angie thought how "cruel" life had been to her. The loss of her dad at the so called tender age of 8 years. The way she had to struggle through school not only for the grades but also for the way a human (if that's what the society terms a just above the poverty line creature) should be treated and maybe even respected. Even though she topped her class (well nearly, she came second) life didn't want her to study , no this if not extremely then moderately talented girl had to make sure that her family lived on to see a few more days. A family of 7 people needed all the help it could gather especially if they were devoid of the presence of a man in the family. But then life does take some sudden turns now doesn't it. For a person in her position it wouldn't be rude to say that it would be the height of all dismal thoughts to think of even a decent living room quarter. But here she was sitting on the top of a 15 storey building ready to jump if her heart and mind signed on a mutual agreement to do so.

She had made her choices. And now as they put it, she was facing the music that too with herself. She was the one who had run away. Ran away from all her responsibilities. Ran away from a caring family. Ran away from a needy family. And ran away with all the money. The world wouldn't question how she came about to possess a meager Rs. 5000. No one would question how the money tripled by itself in the next six months. With sufficient money and a topper's certificate in hand, Angie was sure her long last dream of an education would soon be fulfilled. And it did. Being one of the best in college earns one a certain reputation and it earned Angie a reputation that she craved for all her school life. Suddenly being the bad seed didn't matter all that much. Being the best in college did. And she strived for it. Worked for it. And she had achieved it. And now she was the one who in everyone's eyes deserved the scholarship to the Delhi University for her higher education.

There wasn't a question that she'd pounce on this opportunity considering that she hadn't even dreamt of this in her wildest dreams or nightmares. Having run away and then stood her ground (even though in not the most desirable way possible) Angie had understood the calling of her life, her higher purpose. She perfectly understood that now it didn't matter if did she ran away or if she had sold herself to the devil, all that mattered was that she did proud, not her family (for she couldn't) but herself. Call it selfish if you please but that is what life's higher purpose is, to fulfill your own desires. Or that's what angie thought.

So what was the problem? Its not easy to forget 6 people who remained close to you. Who had said they'd help you no matter what. Who did what they promised. Whom you turned your back on. Just so that you could fulfill your desire and leave the others to rot in the conditions that you wanted to rise out. Not having an inkling of a feeling for the mother who went to work as a housekeeper even when she suffered from a 105 degree temperature just so that you had food on your table. The 4 brothers of the age group 15 to 18 years who ran a mechanic shop and never uttered a word of insolence when they saw their only sister going to school and receive an education which they could only crave for and that too without letting it out of their chapped lips.

These people remained , come to think of it maybe they didn't in the same old dingy world that Angie ran off from.

Her life was an uphill rollercoaster but the problem was she couldn't say the same for her "long lost" family.

Surrounded by a happy board of directors, loads of friends, the special someone she had the pleasure of meeting, and a reputation she had earned for herself Angie was still not satisfied. And Angie was still sitting on the edge of the terrace and still looking at an empty street that awaited her arrival, not from the door but from the top of a 15 storey building.


You can't speak your mind
Living in the fear of the damned
The mind is crammed
With thoughts that aren't your own
And thinkings that you'd love to throw out that door
Doesn't it matter to any human
If we are jaded by the end of every cruel session
Doesn't it matter?
Or is it just that we are fading,
Fading from the concious of all those we called our own?
Can we hold on,
Hold on to what friendship means
Does it always have to collapse
Wth the slightest twirl in every gust of wind?
Would anyone care if I d said the truth?
Would anyone understand
That i try and be true to whatever i say or do?