Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Freefall

"Like the moon, the sun and all things that hang in the sky , life sometimes looks as clustered yet as solitary as these heavenly things.", such thoughts dragged on in the mind of Angie. Living alone and that too in the city of blinding lights i.e. Delhi such thoughts often trespass a college student's mind.

A freefall. That's one of the simplest things to understand, in Physics, in what could easily be considered as one of the biggest fattest books (which of course is the stuff nightmares are made up of, for school and college going students at least). But it isn't the best concept to consider if you are sitting on the terrace, that too right on the edge of a 15 storey building. And that thought of course did pass through Angelina's mind. Sidelining the thought if only for the moment angie thought how "cruel" life had been to her. The loss of her dad at the so called tender age of 8 years. The way she had to struggle through school not only for the grades but also for the way a human (if that's what the society terms a just above the poverty line creature) should be treated and maybe even respected. Even though she topped her class (well nearly, she came second) life didn't want her to study , no this if not extremely then moderately talented girl had to make sure that her family lived on to see a few more days. A family of 7 people needed all the help it could gather especially if they were devoid of the presence of a man in the family. But then life does take some sudden turns now doesn't it. For a person in her position it wouldn't be rude to say that it would be the height of all dismal thoughts to think of even a decent living room quarter. But here she was sitting on the top of a 15 storey building ready to jump if her heart and mind signed on a mutual agreement to do so.

She had made her choices. And now as they put it, she was facing the music that too with herself. She was the one who had run away. Ran away from all her responsibilities. Ran away from a caring family. Ran away from a needy family. And ran away with all the money. The world wouldn't question how she came about to possess a meager Rs. 5000. No one would question how the money tripled by itself in the next six months. With sufficient money and a topper's certificate in hand, Angie was sure her long last dream of an education would soon be fulfilled. And it did. Being one of the best in college earns one a certain reputation and it earned Angie a reputation that she craved for all her school life. Suddenly being the bad seed didn't matter all that much. Being the best in college did. And she strived for it. Worked for it. And she had achieved it. And now she was the one who in everyone's eyes deserved the scholarship to the Delhi University for her higher education.

There wasn't a question that she'd pounce on this opportunity considering that she hadn't even dreamt of this in her wildest dreams or nightmares. Having run away and then stood her ground (even though in not the most desirable way possible) Angie had understood the calling of her life, her higher purpose. She perfectly understood that now it didn't matter if did she ran away or if she had sold herself to the devil, all that mattered was that she did proud, not her family (for she couldn't) but herself. Call it selfish if you please but that is what life's higher purpose is, to fulfill your own desires. Or that's what angie thought.

So what was the problem? Its not easy to forget 6 people who remained close to you. Who had said they'd help you no matter what. Who did what they promised. Whom you turned your back on. Just so that you could fulfill your desire and leave the others to rot in the conditions that you wanted to rise out. Not having an inkling of a feeling for the mother who went to work as a housekeeper even when she suffered from a 105 degree temperature just so that you had food on your table. The 4 brothers of the age group 15 to 18 years who ran a mechanic shop and never uttered a word of insolence when they saw their only sister going to school and receive an education which they could only crave for and that too without letting it out of their chapped lips.

These people remained , come to think of it maybe they didn't in the same old dingy world that Angie ran off from.

Her life was an uphill rollercoaster but the problem was she couldn't say the same for her "long lost" family.

Surrounded by a happy board of directors, loads of friends, the special someone she had the pleasure of meeting, and a reputation she had earned for herself Angie was still not satisfied. And Angie was still sitting on the edge of the terrace and still looking at an empty street that awaited her arrival, not from the door but from the top of a 15 storey building.

1 comment:

nirvana said...

well written...nice story :)